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Harper Government to Voters: Where Are Your Papers?

Blog posts reflect the views of their authors.
Harper Government to Voters: Where Are Your Papers?

In response to all the “handwringing” from “self-appointed experts” about the Harper government’s proposed Fair Elections Act, Pierre Poilievre, Minister of State for Democratic Reform, has released a helpful voters’ guide: Canada Votes 2015: It’s as easy as showing your Conservative Party membership card!

 

Critics have argued that the legislation’s strict voter ID requirements make it more difficult for youth, First Nations people and the poor to vote – demographic groups generally not inclined to vote for the Conservative Party. In other words, critics have claimed the bill is essentially a vote suppression measure, much like the Conservative’s 2011 illegal robocalls that gave non-Conservative voters erroneous polling locations.

 

In response, Mr. Poilievre has claimed that the Harper government’s measure is designed to stop non-Conservative voters from stealing the 2015 election through voter fraud. “The current system allows any voter with proper ID to vouch for the identity of people who do not have ID, even though we have no idea who those people really are,” said the Minister. “The only thing we really know about those unidentified people is that they are overwhelmingly biased against the Conservative Party of Canada. That is very dangerous. It leaves the system open to widespread voter fraud whereby an anti-Conservative bias is introduced to the system. Non-Conservative voters could essentially steal the election through voter fraud.”

 

Mr. Poilievre also claimed that the requirement is reasonable, “All kinds of activities require proper ID,” said the Minister “and rightly so. If you want to rent a car, you need to show ID. If you want to buy alcohol you need ID. If you want to register your hunting rifle- well you get the idea. The point is that all Canadian citizens, except pot-smoking vagabonds and slackers who cannot be bothered to keep all their legal documents in order, will have the right to vote,” said Mr. Poilievre. “We hope that all real Canadians will exercise their democratic right. Just show us your papers!”

 

 

David Bernans is a Québec-based writer and translator. Follow him on twitter @dbernans.

 

* This article is satire, but not that far from the truth when you think about it.

 


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