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Harper “Furious” $3.1 Billion May Have Gone to Research Root Causes of Terrorism

Blog posts reflect the views of their authors.
Harper “Furious” $3.1 Billion May Have Gone to Research Root Causes of Terrorism

Canada’s Auditor General Michael Ferguson released his spring report today. The report is critical of the Harper government for its failure to properly account for $3.1 billion in anti-terror spending.

Between 2001 and 2009, 35 departments were given $12.9 billion to fund anti-terrorism and security measures under the Public Security and Anti-Terrorism Initiative (PSAT). Ferguson found there was no monitoring of government-wide progress toward the PSAT’s initiatives.

The departments and agencies reported spending $9.8 billion of the $12.9 billion allocated. It's not clear where the other $3.1 billion went.

“We’re pretty sure that the money was spent on fighting evil” said Public Safety Minister Vic Toews. But when pressed, Toews admitted that it is “theoretically possible, that some of the money went into researching the root causes of evil. But it’s far more likely that it was spent on legitimate security expenses such as gazebos or a fake lake.”

Nevertheless, Toews refused to say categorically whether or not any of the $3.1 billion in missing funds went towards sociological research although he repeated Prime Minister Harper’s position that the government remains the enemy of all those foreign and domestic forces who would commit sociology.

Government insiders say that Prime Minister Stephen Harper is furious. He reportedly lambasted both Vic Toews and Treasury Board President Tony Clement behind closed doors when they were unable to tell him whether any of the missing $3.1 billion was spent on anti-terror research that could shed light on root causes of terrorism.

Government sources speculate that a cabinet shuffle is imminent.

David Bernans is a Québec-based writer and translator. He is the author of Collateral Murder. Follow him on twitter @dbernans.

* Note from the author: this article is speculative and largely satirical.



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